I’m keeping this blog short in hopes that many will read. I feel it contains necessary thoughts which can help to deepen relationships.
You don’t like strawberry milkshakes. They disgust you to the point of actual nausea and if you had to sit next to one you may vomit. I mean, you say that, but really you just don’t love them. But your best friend loves strawberry milkshakes. To her, they are the world. Best thing EVER!!! It’s just how she is. Early on in your friendship she kept talking about them and you could care less. Many times, she offered you one while at her house, and you turned your nose up. She hid her confusion, heartbreak and sadness, each time. She wanted badly for you to just take one sip. It’s her love. It’s a huge part of her life. But, instead of embracing her love, you drank your drink and she drank hers. You enjoyed each other, sipping different drinks. For a long time. It was never discussed. You never knew how much of a blessing it may be to your friend just to sip her favorite drink. Relentless for her attention, you didn’t make a scene or doubt the goodness of the strawberry milkshake, but you also did not embrace it.
So, how do you bless her? How could this turn out differently? Is it compromise? Is it yielding to another’s wishes and desires? Is it empathy, compassion or humility? Do you even want to bless her? Whoa!
We are all uniquely made. I have never met anyone who didn’t believe that philosophy. We all have our own way, our loves, our hopes, our dreams and more. But, if we continue to live separate from each other, what good is it? By separate, I mean, if we can’t embrace and engage others in their loves, hopes, dreams…whether we resonate with or not, then what matter does relationship have for us? We may as well live out of contact with people. Hermits, recluse to society. Not just in the way of close proximity, but close in emotional boundaries.
Can you come out of your box and engage your friend? “I wish I could love strawberry milkshakes as much as you do! I’m so happy that you have that in your life! Can you tell me what you love about strawberry milkshakes?” Whoa!
Let me give you some advice. Get your head out of your own gutter! Who the fuck cares if you have your own perspective and she has her own perspective? What’s it worth to you? Can you bless her? Can you just sit back and ask engaging questions? You love her right? Well, be intrigued by the things she talks about. Be fascinated by her world. Be compelled to seek more information. Do it. I hope you know that in blessing your friend with this type of engagement will also bless you…probably more than you would ever want! If she hasn’t before now, she will begin to reciprocate your intentions. She will engage you. And, she will flutter along as a happy little bird, loving her life because someone loves her. Someone cares about what she likes. Someone is interested.
Sounds like puppy love right? Not at all. This is what I call devotion.
So answer this now…Which of your friends has offered you a strawberry milkshake?