I feel like sometimes people in my life count me and my family as their medal of honor. We satisfy some great need for them. Whether it’s our character, our integrity, our dysfunction, our friendliness, our passion, or the part of us with Down Syndrome…there are people who’ll befriend us. They follow us. They know us. They care for us and love us. They sincerely like us, even. Many of these people are sincere, but I’m questioning those who aren’t.
What’s your motive here? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Cuz…I’m not here for that. I’m not your down and out who you can talk about to your uppety friends and give yourself all kinds of accolades. That’s not me and it’s not my kids. We own integrity and we are not looking for emotional handouts. We don’t have our shit altogether, but we are working on it. And if that encourages you…great. But, don’t dehumanize us and don’t befriend us because of our adversity.
I need all kinds of people and I’m not ashamed to say so, and I’m convinced that we all have this need. The question that remains is how so do we need each other. Dependence is unhealthy, yet I would bet solitude is just as unhealthy. Addicts who are entering into therapy are watched and warned about solitude. Needing relationship is a part of life. It’s a part of a wholly satisfied life. In fact, I would argue that intimate friends actually give us reason for living. They don’t merely satisfy the urge for closeness and comradery, but they satisfy our real need for inclusion.
How do you respond to these people who want friendship but whom you feel are there for their ego and selfish desires?